


Thanks, Lance.

by rockyrocket



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Drunk Sex, Drunk Texting, F/F, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Off-screen Relationship(s), Pining Allura (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Singer! Lance, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Texting, The Great British Bake Off References, chatfic, i made nyma abusive oops, it gets better tho, shatt gets their shit togeather, there is lots of music here, this actually has plot lol, why do you all go to pidge for relationship issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23009812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockyrocket/pseuds/rockyrocket
Summary: Assorted gays  3:27 amPidgin: yoIneedsleep: what brings you to us at ass o’clock in the morning?Pidgin: i uhIneedsleep: oh noPidgin: i decided to do a background check on our keith friendKteet: excuse me?--i rewrote this. i like it better now and I'm actually going to post it more lmao
Relationships: Allura & Shiro (Voltron), Allura/Romelle (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Matt Holt/Shiro, Nyma/Romelle (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Thanks, Lance.

**Author's Note:**

> yeo i uhhh rewrote this and i wanna actually finish posting it this time. The second chapter out tomorrow. This idea has been festering in my brain for ages and i hope this word vomet suffices. brain goes brrrbrrrbrrrr klancebrrrbrrr
> 
> lets do this bitches

_**Pidgin** added: **Shirowo** , **Kteet** , **princess** , **hunka** , **loop** , **romcom** , **matowo** _

_**Pidgin** named the chat  _ **_assorted gays_ ** 1:47 am

**_Pidgin_ :** the new song?

**_Kteet:_ ** holy shitttttt 

**_Romcom:_ ** I knowwww thats what i thought 

**_Pidgin:_ ** its just so 

**_Kteet:_ ** beaUtiFul? 

**_Pidgion:_ ** yEs? 

**_Matowo:_ ** Uggggggggggggh no spoilers 

**_Romcom:_ ** Listen to the song rat 

**_Matowo:_ ** Okei my b 

**_Pidgin:_ ** Like uggggh

**_Pidgin:_ ** white flower

**_Pidgin:_ ** take it easy

**_Pidgin:_ ** easy

**_Pidgin:_ ** easy on me

**_Pidgin:_ ** Soooo amazing 

**_Loop:_ ** What are you guys chatting about at 2 am l- 

**_Romcom:_ ** Blue came out with a new song 

**_Loop:_ ** Ohhh

**_Loop:_ ** Gross 

**_Kteet:_ ** No u 

**_Romcom:_ ** Rt

**_Pidgin:_ ** Rt

**_Loop:_ ** Bullys 

_**Loop** left the chat _

_**Kteet** added loop back to the chat _

_**Loop** changed their name to **ineedsleep** _

**_Pidgin:_ ** Same 

**_Mattowo:_ ** I know  _ you _ do you dumb hoe 

**_Pidgin:_ ** Hostile. 

**_Mattowo:_ ** You know ily hoe

**_ineedsleep:_ ** Same

**_Kteet:_ ** Same

**_Romcom:_ ** Same

**_Pidgin:_ ** Gross, affection. 

**_Romcom:_ ** Aww i love yall 

**_Princess:_ ** <33333 @rommm 

**_Romcom:_ ** <33333333333@lurra 

  
  


**_Pig_ ** _ > _ **_Hunka_ **

**_Pig:_ ** Eyes emoji 

**_Hunka:_ ** Eyes emoji 

  
  


**_Assorted gays_ ** 8:23 pm

**_Mattowo:_ ** Would you rther live without fingers or toes? 

**_Kteet:_ ** toes.

**_Kteet:_ ** Fuck toes.

**_Shirowo:_ ** Uhh fingers. 

**_Ineedsleep:_ ** You finaly decide to show up

**_Ineedsleep:_ ** And you say something so stupid. 

**_Shirowo:_ ** You can't walk without toes lance. 

**_Ineedsleep:_ ** If you keep the toes you cant have fingers 

**_Romcom:_ ** Tru 

**_Shirowo:_ ** Guys. Think rationally. 

**_Hunka:_ ** I think shiro has a point. 

**_Princess:_ ** If you chose the toes you don't get the fingers. 

**_Shirowo:_ ** But you need toes! 

**_Mattowo:_ ** The court has spoken takashi 

**_Shirowo:_ ** The court is wrong. 

**_Kteet:_ ** Oh well 

**_Kteet:_ ** Finger gang 

**_Ineedsleep:_ ** Finger gang

**_Kteet:_ ** Thank lanc

**_Ineedsleep:_ ** Np bb

  
  


**_Keet > Pig _ **

**_Keet:_ ** Sweet fucking christ 

**_Pig:_ ** What? 

**_Keet:_ ** Bb. 

**_Pig:_ ** Ha gay 

  
  


**_Assorted gays_ ** 3:27 am

**_Pidgin_ ** : yo

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : what brings you to us at ass o’clock in the morning? 

**_Pidgin_ ** : i uh

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : oh no

**_Pidgin_ ** : i decided to do a background check on our keith friend

**_Kteet_ ** : excuse me?

**_Pidgin_ ** : and speak of the devil

**_Pidgin_ ** : so keith

**_Kteet_ ** : good lord

**_Ineedsleep_ ** _ changed  _ **_Pidgin’s_ ** _ name to  _ **_Lord_ **

**_Lord_ ** : thank you lance

**_Lord_ ** : anyway 

**_Lord_ ** : keith,,,

**_Lord_ ** : what the fuck

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : what? 

**_Lord_ ** : one count of arson, one for assault, and one for resisting arrest. 

**_Kteet_ ** : yeah, so what? 

**_Lord_ ** : want me to remove it? 

**_Kteet_ ** : what? 

**_Lord_ ** : remove your record. Want me to? 

**_Kteet_ ** : just

**_Kteet_ ** : what?

**_Lord_ ** : look ktitty,,,

**_Ineedsleep_ ** _ changed  _ **_Kteet_ ** _ name to  _ **_Ktitty_ **

**_Lord_ ** : thank you lance

**_Lord_ ** : look ktitty,,,

**_Lord_ ** : i am at this school on scholarship for tech and if you didn't know, im a bad bleep

**_Lord_ ** : so yeah i can get into a shitty gov forum and yeah i can remove your shit.

**_Ktitty_ ** : 

**_Ktitty_ ** : yes, please

**_Lord_ ** : will do kiddo

**_Ktitty_ ** :

**_Ktitty_ ** : i take it back

  
  


**_Assorted gays_ ** 11:56 am

**_Hunka:_ ** Who’s hungry? 

**_Ineedsleep:_ ** You cooking? 

**_Hunka:_ ** obviously. it's not keith or matt or shiro. 

**_Mattowo:_ ** Ouch 

**_Ktitty:_ ** Okay offended 

**_Shirowo:_ ** That’s reasonable. 

**_Lord:_ ** Oh my god hunk food?  _ Im there. _

**_Princess:_ ** I'll be there soon with rom shes driving there rn

**_Ineedsleep:_ ** Lmao 

**_Hunka:_ ** Holy shit 

**_Hunka:_ ** I guess we’re having a family lunch then. 

**_Mattowo:_ ** You bet your ass we are. 

**_Hunka:_ ** How did this even happen? 

**_Shirowo:_ ** You offered. 

**_Hunka:_ ** U rite 

  
  
  


**_Assorted gays_ ** 6:56 pm

**_Lord_ ** : keith is over here vibing

**_Ktitty_ ** : ngl i started dancing when the bridge started. 

**_Lord_ ** : i think it was a mistake he told us that the person he writes songs about is real

**_Lord_ ** : I don't think he was prepared for this amount of emotion. 

**_Romcom_ ** : his songs about the mystery (BOY) person always do fucking amazing because you can tell how intensely he feels for the mystery (BOY) person

**_Ktitty_ ** : no way he’s gay.

**_Romcom_ ** : why not? 

**_Ktitty_ ** : good things don’t happen to me.

**_Romcom_ ** : valid

**_Shirowo_ ** : go tf to sleep 

**_Lord_ ** : okay father

**_Shirowo_ ** : no-

**_Romcom_ ** : yr my dad boogie woogie woogie

**_Shirowo_ ** : ems = end my suffering

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : lmao yall are nerds

**_Lord_ ** : and you are a heinous trashbag full of milk and keith’s shitty gay slash fics

**_Hunka_ ** : gottem

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : fucj that hit hard

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : its time to retire to my study and fucking cry about it

**_Ktitty_ ** : hey! My fanfic is good!

**_Lord_ ** : that self insert mothman x reader fanfic says otherwise my friend. 

**_Ktitty_ ** : that was one t i m e 

**_Ktitty_ ** : i was drinking

**_Shirowo_ ** : better have been apple juice.

**_Ktitty_ ** : sure. 

**_Shirowo_ ** : you’re grounded my friend. 

**_Ktitty_ ** : you’re not my real dad ! 

**_Shirowo_ ** : speaking of Keith's slash fic,, he has left his google docs logged in on my computer. 

**_Shirowo_ ** : I am making discoveries I've made before. 

**_Ktitty_ ** : what are you reading

**_Ktitty_ ** : stop 

**_Shirowo_ ** : dude dog with a blog? What the actual fuckis this?

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : fuckis

**_Ktitty_ ** : shiro seriously, get away from my account. 

**_Hunka_ ** : shiro idk about this…

**_Shirowo_ ** : shshs im really getting to the meat and potatoes now

**_Ktitty_ ** : listen to the big man shiro. 

**_Shirowo_ ** : owo what’s this? 

**_Ktitty_ ** : please, don’t.

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : keith what is on yr computer? 

**_Hunka_ ** : yeash man it can’t really be that bad

**_Ktitty_ ** : PLEASE DON’T

**_Ktitty_ ** : I KNOW YOU SEE IT

**_Ktitty_ ** : just don't

**_Ineedsleep_ ** : keith, buddy are you alright?

**_Hunka_ ** : shiro?

**_Shirowo_ ** : 

**_Shirowo_ ** : oh

**_Shirowo_ ** : i'm so sorry

**_Shirowo_ ** : i'm crying wtf

**_Ktitty_ ** removed themself from the chat. 

**_Romcom_ ** : what the fuck just happened? 

**Author's Note:**

> tell me if you hate it or naw
> 
> i've always wanted to write one of these
> 
> the song reffered to is 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyFffu4a0GU
> 
> i don't own any of the people or music used


End file.
